Friday, June 15, 2012

Remaining Faithful in the Midst of Fear

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of sound mind." 2 Tim 1:7

I had a little bit of a freak-out moment tonight.  It began with an email.  As I read the words, I could feel the blood rushing to my head and my entire body beginning to well up with anger.  It had been a while since something had made me feel this way and it caught me off guard.  I didn't know what to do with it. 

So I called my mom. 

Talking about it helped get it out of me and it helped me to calm down a bit.  After that, I talked to a few more friends about the issue at hand to get some advice on how to proceed and as I did, I could feel my body starting to return to normal as I let it all soak in and allowed my mind time to process rather than making rash decisions. 

While I was very angry about the content of the email, I realized that a big part of that anger came from fear.  The issue at hand has the capability to upset the normal and peaceful life that I have settled into over the past few years.  It threatens to turn everything I have worked so hard for, completely upside down.  In fact, this current crisis will now test every bit of character that God has been forming in me.  And I admit it, part of me is afraid even as I type this.

However, God has not given me a spirit of fear.  Instead, he has given me a spirit of power.  I can do what needs to be done because He has given me the strength and the power to do it.  I can do everything through Him who gives me strength. (Phil 4:13).  I think because I am taking the time to process the scenario in order to respond appropriately rather than just reacting to it in the heat of the moment, that God will help me to come to a response that is firm yet loving rather than defensive or harsh.  I am also reminded that He has given me a sound mind that can think and reason and process and make wise decisions.

God has already promised that He will supply all my needs.  It's not a check or another person who supplies my needs.  It's the Lord.  This current crisis did not catch Him off guard.  In His Word, He has already promised to be the Supplier.  Therefore, even if circumstances seem to appear otherwise, I need to keep holding onto that truth and walking boldly forward even in the midst of fear.  The most important thing for me is to remain faithful to God's Word.  It's to not give in because of fear or try to take the reins myself.  I will not allow myself to be bullied into submission but am choosing to remain faithful and trusting in God's promises and submit instead to His will.

Rather than allowing my anger over the situation to tempt me towards sin, instead I choose to let it propel me towards action and righteousness.  In a way, I'm even a little bit grateful for a crisis sometimes because while it is tough and anxiety producing, it also pushes me straight into the arms of Christ to lead me on. 

Right now I'm choosing to remain faithful in the midst of fear, taking one step forward at a time.