Sunday, October 20, 2013

Mommy, How Do I Know I'm Going to Heaven?

As much as my kids drive me crazy, wear me down, express their strong will, and pick at their food... I have to say, they are pretty cool kids.

Yesterday we were driving home after I had dropped off an article to my mom about a young girl who was recently killed in a tragic accident.

My six year old, hearing the whole conversation, asked me, "Mommy, why did she die?"  I told him a little bit about what happened.  He said that he hoped that doesn't happen to him.  I told him it was very sad but that the girl had Jesus in her heart so right now she is in heaven.

"Mommy, where do people go if they don't have Jesus in their heart?" he asked.

I explained to him that people who don't have Jesus in their heart when they die go to a place called Hell and that there is fire there and it's not a very nice place.

He said, "Mommy, I'm glad I have Jesus in my heart so I don't have to go to that place with fire and I can go to Heaven instead."  Then he continued, "Mommy, how do I know that I'm going to heaven?"

We talked about John 3:16 as we pulled into our driveway.  I told both boys, lets go inside and look up in our Bibles how we can be sure that we are going to heaven when we ask Jesus into our hearts.

I read to them, and they recited along as much as they could remember, "For God so loved the world that He gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life."  John 3:16

"Mommy, that's the verse I said in Sparks this week!" my six year old exclaimed, excitedly.

We also read 1 John 5:12-13, "Whoever has the Son has life; whoever does not have the Son of God does not have life.  I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may know you have eternal life."

We talked about how some of our friends don't have Jesus in their hearts and that's why we have to tell them how much God loves them because He wants everyone to ask Him into their hearts because He doesn't want anyone to have to go to Hell.

I've felt very worn and weary recently trying to keep up with everything and trying to raise two responsible boys who love Jesus and others.  There are days when I feel like I'm not doing a very good job at it and can't wait until bedtime or for someone to come help me.

Then there are times like these when, in their childhood innocence, I get a glimpse of what it's all about being a mom anyway.  I love when they ask questions and we talk about Jesus.  I remember that my children are a gift that somehow God has seen fit to allow me to be their mommy.  

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

The Hum Drums

I'm sitting here on my couch with my feet up and laptop in hand.  There is a huge pile of laundry on the couch and another basket full sitting beside it.  I look across the room to the dining room where the table is piled with papers.  There are a few dishes in the sink.  I haven't grocery shopped in probably a month other than to pick up a gallon of milk here and there.  I finally balanced my checkbook the other day after about three weeks.  My floors need to be mopped.  The carpets needs sweeping.  I made grilled cheese sandwiches for dinner because, well, you have to get creative when you haven't grocery shopped in a month.  Most nights I go to bed between 8pm and 9pm.  I don't really feel like doing much at all.  I see all the things I want to do, but have no energy to do any of them.  It's really all I can do to go to work every day and care for two boys every night.  I wish someone else would clean my house because I can't stand the mess, but can't muster the energy to do it.

The thing I'm trying to figure out is... am I depressed?  Am I overwhelmed?  Am I tired?  Or am I just lazy?

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Sleep Well

I did not write the words below.  I copied and pasted them from the Autism Discussion Page on Facebook. It is absolutely priceless.  If you are a parent of a child with autism, I highly recommend liking the page.  He has a lot of wonderful tips and helps in raising an autistic child.

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Mom/Dad, sleep well tonight!

With the challenges you face, and the limited knowledge and tools that you have, rest well because you are doing a fantastic job! You question your actions and agonize over what you do, do not do, or cannot provide your child. You are frustrated with the lack of services, or the quality of services you have; the looks , comments, and questions from others, and the struggles you face to advocate for ongoing supports at school and from professional agencies. You see the challenges and pain that you child endures. Unfortunately, you probably see what you didn’t do, or what you could have done, or what you might have done differently, and miss seeing what you do right! You don’t see the love, compassion, dedication, and determination you express day in and day out! 

It is natural to question the “what ifs” and “could I do more.” However, if you get too wrapped up in the maze of “what ifs” you will miss the positives that make parenting special. Sometimes we try to do too much, and obsess about what we are not doing, that we miss the special moments that gleam your love and devotion.

It is hard to see the fruits of your love, when you are only looking at what is not occurring. Believe me, there is nothing healthier than your love and time spent simply enjoying your child. Don’t let those little times pass you by, or be hidden by your feelings of inadequacy and drive to do more.

Autism brings out the best and worse in us, but self doubt is what I see eat at parents the most. There are no givens, sure strategies, or “just right” decisions out there. We are still in our infancy in understanding autism. But I will assure you with one thing. Your children are children first, and respond strongly to the same love and attention that all children need and respond to! Your love is so obvious, to everyone but probably yourself. Try recognizing that, feeling good about that, and shielding the negative self doubt with that.

It is a long journey, but one that you are tackling it well. When going to bed at night, smile at yourself in the mirror, and sleep well! If you can assure yourself of your love and devotion, you should rest well. Slow yourself down, and give your child the two most important ingredients; time and love! They need that to feel safe and accepted. You also need that to feel loved and loving. You are doing it, so feel it! Good night, sleep tight, and give yourself a big hug!
It is because of you that I do this page! I admire and value your compassion!